Seeking certainty in an uncertain existence

Man is a being who builds a mental image of the universe. Each human being I feel lives in a different universe, where no two universes are similar. If we discount the people who have realized the mysteries of the universe, everyone is on a journey of learning or understanding. All we live by are theories and hypotheses. They are everywhere. They are in science, religion, spirituality, law, morality. Everything is seen through a tinted glass.

What is morally erroneous to a vegan seems morally right to a non-vegetarian. People fight. Media get's TRP over issues like this. Sometimes people lose their lives fighting over such beliefs that they hold.

Often not knowing that we live in a separate world from another individual makes us intolerant. Why are they eating that? Why do they pray to so many Gods? Is it not my duty to bring them to my way of life, which is the only way of life? This is the root cause of so much intolerance we see, whether in personal or professional lives. A good example can be the Foreign invasions of India since the 10th century AD. When the invaders found people to be worshiping many Gods, not even trying to understand the local culture they set about on a bloody conquest of murder, rape and pillage. All this they felt was justified for the greater cause of bringing the heretic to their fold. So much so that they thought that God would grant them great rewards in paradise for these acts.

While this is one problem that the world faces today, what exactly is the reason why people concoct theories or belief systems. People cannot deal with uncertainty. I once wrote about how Cantor unearthed a monster when he started working on infinite and trans-finite sets. People loathed the concept. Bertrand Russel loathed paradoxes and hence set about removing them in his magnum opus Principia Mathematica. Only he was disappointed when the brilliant Austrian logician Kurt Godel unearthed a monstrous paradox right in the heart of the principia, giving rise to the famous incompleteness theorem.

There is a problem in this world, for those who objectively seek certainty and confront uncertainties head on. Sometimes people are irrational, even the most sane people behave irrationally. How can one deal with such behavior. Those who seek certainty are sometimes overwhelmed and the world seems too cruel for the likes who seek truth. It is this attitude that drove Cantor mad. It is this that made Godel die of starvation. I think sometimes, when faced with irrationality or any other perplexing instances, it is better to take a step back , relax and say "Not my circus!  Not my monkeys!" :)

Sometimes it is better to be OK with ambiguity, uncertainty etc especially if at that point in time, anything you do might make matters worse. Best remember God if you are a theist and trust he will make things better. If you are an atheist or an agnostic, best do something you love to do. Read that brand new novel you've been told is brilliant. Go take a chance and watch that new Star Wars move. May the force be with you :) 

The song of silence

As I ambled along the narrow streets
Barely able to keep my balance

I was considered wise beyond my age
My intoxicated silence was considered a magnum opus

The moment I became sober and opened my mouth
I became a heretic of the worst kind and was outlawed

The gates of the temple were shut to my sober self
The only way to get back inside was through the tavern

As I observed the world balancing on a knife's edge
I was considered an extraordinary intellect

I slipped and fell when I opened my mouth
Then I was laughed upon as the greatest dullard

oh my tongue, why dost thou speak when no one cares to listen
Just stop your functioning and let this mute spectator become a hero

In this universe words of love are looked upon with scorn
Mistakes are never forgiven and you are made to pay

Listen oh heart, why dost thou expect pleasure from the beloved
When all that is in store for you is fiery arrows of a thousand deaths

An ugly duckling and a misfit is all I can be here in the waking world
The finest wine from the fakir's tavern can make me a wise sage

The drunkenness is most welcome in this world of the sane
My silence will become the greatest love song ever sung!

Snare called love

Love is like the snare of a wicked hunter
And the lover falls helplessly to his death

A beating heart craving for love is one waiting to break
A cow waiting for a cruel tiger to finish it's existence

Like a cruel ring master life prods and pricks the heart
Until it breaks into a thousand pieces and shatters like glass

All beings come to this world to live and die
The lover especially dies many deaths

Cruel words and wicked barbs are hurled like spears
Again and again wounding the heart with no time to recover

A tortuous route towards that eternal truth called death
How much can the heart take after all oh beloved

In the grand scheme of things, you are the hunter and I the pray
I die a thousand deaths trapped in this snare called love!

Fiery embers

Fiery embers were all that remained
Of the being that craved for nothing but love

I came to this world as fuel to feed this all consuming flame
A flame so dastardly that it consumes pure love anywhere

Caught in a world of circumstances, I was told I am not good enough
I was asked to jump into the inferno, taking a leap of faith

I was the swan in the lake full of many a duckling
I was told that I am destined to be an ugly duckling

I heard about all the imperfections in me and my home with patience
And yet when I said a word I was branded an infidel and burnt at stake

I feel one with Hallaj, who was tortured unto death in a gibbet
I feel like Shams who flew from Tabrez, to be skinned alive with hate

All we did was speak our minds, and yet the beloved is not ready to hear us
When we spoke, we became heretics, sinners of the worst kind in this world

The fakir told me to let go of the caged parrot, squawking and wailing alone
"Give the cage to me, and let me lead you home!" said the fakir

Burning embers was all I was left with, of that once loving heart
Unable to speak, I gave the cage to my murshid for safekeeping

I finally threw the cooling embers into the sea of the fakir
I lost myself in my fakir's ocean forgetting the river where I swam

Lost and found

I was lost in the hustle and bustle
Of the marketplace to notice within

I went ranting and raving in agony
In amnesia I wallowed in self pity

Sitting near a great treasure trove
My ego could not gauge it's worth

I went to the fakir complaining about my fate
The fakir asked me if I have gone insane

"I have given you the best and yet" he said
"You fail to see this angel who stands beside"

The fakir asked me to blot out the noise from the mind
And asked me to listen to what my heart was saying

As I looked within forgetting myself, I saw
Only you and heard your name in every heartbeat

I realized what a fool I had been, complaining for no reason
In pain and agony I forgot to notice your beloved comforting presence

Lost am I always now in thoughts of loving you
There is no thought but blissful gratitude in my heart

Gone is this feeling that "I" want this and "I" want that
All that remains in the heart is "we" want each other

Day after day I love you more and more
This love is infinite how can anyone measure

I ask god to remove selfish thoughts from my ego
And all that remains is blissful thoughts about you

Steer into the skid!

I write this at a time when disaster has struck a beautiful city. A city I have come to love. A city where many loved ones stay. Chennai today has been declared a disaster zone. The army and the navy have stepped in to rescue people. Chennai is inundated with water from frequent cyclones for the past couple of days. Respite does not seem to be in sight as of now. It merely goes to show how puny and powerless we are before nature's wrath.

This got me thinking, we get upset about so many things in life. When things do not go our way, we find ourselves being upset about the situation and the people involved. We resist the situation and refuse to believe that this could be happening to us. We keep turning and tossing in bed spending a sleepless night. But would any of that solve the problem? No! First of all, we need to realize is that life is no cake walk. Difficulties abound in everyone's life, be he a prince or a pauper. We need fortitude and courage to fight life's battles.

Today something happened that upset me. I was hoping for something. I was expecting something. But things happened another way. And no one can be blamed for it. It just had to happen that way. As I tried helplessly to get some sleep while my mind was turbulent and sad at what had happened. Then as I looked at the whole thing objectively, I realized, there was absolutely nothing anyone could have done. No one could be blamed for it. I can either go to sleep like any normal human being does at 12 AM or keep thinking about why it happened till morning and ruin a good night's sleep. I realized that I was puny and powerless before what happened. Sometimes things do happen and things may not go as planned. One must realize that what has happened, has happened. Accept it. And move on. If you can do something to make things better do so. If it is beyond one's control then..well then depending on your temperament there are two things that you can do.

1. If you believe in the almighty, an all powerful and merciful being, a Sadguru who is watching over you like a mother and taking you always towards something better, then well you can surrender completely to the Sadguru's feet and let go. Do not keep turning over in your mind why something happened that you did not want.

2. If you are an atheist, then you know you are powerless. No point getting stressed as according to you the universe is all about probability. Things could have gone your way but did not. Best accept the situation. See if you can do something to make it better. Or wait with patience and hope that things will get better.

A friend had once written in his blog that tough situations are like skidding on a road in your car. If you apply breaks and try to steer clear of the direction of the skid, you are likely to cause more damage. If however you go along with the skid and slow down, you are going to cause minimal damage. These unpleasant situations, small or big are similar. It is better to steer into the skid. Wait with faith and patience and you will see that things always get better.

In conclusion I request all readers to pray to the almighty to help our brethren in Chennai.

"When rain lashed with brilliant sparks of lightning and booming thunder in Shirdi and the people turned to you for help, you commanded the elements and said "stop, be calm!", and the storm abated. You held the Govardhana when Indra sent thunderstorms towards Vrindavan. Kindly protect your children in Chennai. Hear this prayer. Listen to their cries for help. Save those who have none but you to turn to.."

||Om Sai Shree Sai Jai Jai Sai||