Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

"He composed music at the age of 4! He composed his first symphony at the age of 6" That is how Antonio Salieri describes Mozart in the 1984 period drama film Amadeus. That was Mozart! A child prodigy, who lived young, composed his best music while he was young and died young (At the age of 32). Some believe that it was the Italian composer Antonio Salieri himself who poisoned Mozart out of jealousy. For during his own lifetime Mozart had become a legend. Another composer, Joseph Haydn wrote "posterity will not see such talent again in a hundred years". I think Hayden was slightly off the mark. We have not seen such talent again! Great composers come and great composers go. But there can only be one and only one Mozart!

I was introduced to the world of Western Classical Music through my father. He was introduced into it by my late uncle. Whenever my uncle would come from Africa, he set aside some time listening to Classical music and discussing it with my father. My uncle had attended several orchestras by famous conductors. Once, my father also accompanied my uncle to a concert in Mumbai where the famous Indian conductor Zubin Mehta performed. My uncle repeatedly used to urge me to listen to Western classical music as he said it calms one's mind and is an instant source of relaxation. My uncle was a fan of Johann Sabastian Bach (The elder Bach). My father too even now claims he likes the elder Bach best. The Bach family was full of musicians. There is a famous quote that goes "The Bernoulli family is to Maths as the Bach family is to Music". Bach's name also appears on the famous Pulitzer winning book of Dr.Douglous Hoffstadter "Godel,Escher and Bach". Dr.Hoffstadter claims that consciousness is a self loop that can spontaneously arise in certain structures like Godel's incompleteness theorem, Escher's graphic art or Bach's music. I was at that time very fond of Beethoven's 9th symphony. I think unconsciously I connected with the values of freedom, equality and liberty that Beethoven cherished the most and which inspired his best music. We had a record player at home. One of the best records we had was of the 1970s British pop group ventures,trying their hand at playing what they considered the best classical music pieces. It was a masterpiece in fusion. A pop music band, playing classical music pieces using modern day instruments. My favorite even record was Beethoven's 9th. But I also liked another piece, which was Mozart's Symphony no 40. And on one occasion, when my dad, my uncle and I were sitting at our respective chairs at an acoustically suitable distance from the old record player listening to Mozart's 40, my uncle went on to narrate the greatness of Mozart. It must have made such a great impact on my mind that I picked a record which had his caricature on the cover. I immediately proceeded to make an exact copy of the caricature in my drawing book.

My drawing of Mozart (Misspelled of course :) )

Last week while I was rummaging through some old books (which I meant to throw away to make room for new books in the cupboard), I ran into my school drawing book. And there I found several brave attempts at drawing cartoons, comic book heroes, characters from movies that had made a lot of impact on my mind. In one of the pages in this dusty old book I ran into this drawing of Mozart. While it can be described as a crude drawing at best it still made my day. I was so thrilled. I could not contain my joy. I was smiling for a long time looking at the book. It took me back to a time, when life was so easy. The only thing to worry about was homeworks. One would sit in the class, look out of the window at the clear blue skies and get lost in the clouds, day dreaming. And then the teacher would come and give you a rap on the knuckles to bring you back to earth.  Life was so simple then. If there were no friends to play cricket with, there always was a cat or her kitten to give me company and to play with me. And you know, when I remember all these pleasant memories, what background score is playing in my mind? It's Mozart and there is no doubt about it.

When I listen to Mozart, sometimes these pleasant memories flit past my eyes as I impassively stare at them like an outsider. Mozart's music transforms our surroundings. It takes us to a place that is in the present moment bereft of the painful memories of the past or the worries of the future. I think there is a scientific reason behind this. Mozart himself composed all this music at an age when he was very innocent. Though most of his young life he spent traveling all over Austria accompanied by his father. He would enthrall people with his performance. Though life was this harsh, when he would compose/play music which came naturally to him as a gift from God, he would lose himself from the external world, turn inward and connect to the Universe. The subtle order and rhythm present in the motion of planets, stars, galaxies and sub atomic particles would beckon him to compose his masterpieces. I think that is why at a spiritual level it touches a chord within us. Our being reverberates with the harmony present in his music and would immediately become still. There we silently listen to the symphony that the universe constantly plays through Mozart.

The most beautiful child in Agra!

Once after a busy day at the court , the emperor's mind free at last began to wander and think about various topics not related to the court. His thoughts on this particular day revolved around his beloved grandson. Suddenly the emperor voiced his thoughts aloud “Prince Khurram is smart, endowed with good looks and is unmatched is his pleasing appearance. Certainly there can be no child as beautiful as he! I feel that he is the most beautiful child in Agra!” so declared emperor Akbar. The courtiers, knowing fully well how much the emperor liked his grandchild agreed in unison “Yes, Jahanpanah! Why Agra? Prince Khurram is the most beautiful child on earth!”. While Akbar looked contentedly at all his courtiers, his eyes fell on one courtier who unlike the others had remained silent. Madhao Das, stood there deep in thought. Akbar enquired “Birbal, why do you keep quiet? Do you not agree with me?”. Birbal as Madhao Das was known replied “I do not know Jahanpanah! Beauty is subjective! It is in the eye of the beholder as they say! I do not think you can quantitatively analyze beauty”. “What non-sense!” Akbar retorted! “Everyone can see a beautiful thing! All right let us hold a contest. Each  courtier will bring a child whom he thinks is beautiful. Then we shall see if there is any child who is more beautiful than my Khurram!”

The next day every courtier brought a child with him! Akbar examined each child but found some defect or the other with each one of them. To one child, he said the nose was too long. Another child he felt was too dark. Yet another had slight squint in the eyes. At the end of his analysis, he declared “There, I think we can now safely say that Khurram is far more beautiful than any of these children.What say you, Birbal?” he asked. “Jahanpanah, I have heard of this child who is supposedly the most beautiful child in Agra! I need some time to locate him! Once I do so, I will show him to Jahanpanah”. Akbar angrily agreed to Birbal’s request.

A few days later Birbal declared that he had found the child in question. He said “Jahanpanah, the mother refuses to let the child out of her sight. We have to go to the child’s dwelling in disguise and marvel at it’s beauty!”. Akbar agreed, and grudgingly accompanied Birbal and a couple of courtiers. They were all disguised as commoners. After walking a long distance, they reached a shady area of Agra. There were muddy roads, gloomy looking huts were present everywhere. Then they arrived at a drab looking shanty. In front of the hut was playing a child which was extremely dirty and hence was quite unpleasant to look at! “There Jahanpanah, is the most beautiful child in Agra” declared Birbal! Even as Akbar looked on in shock, the child stumbled and fell.The moment the mother heard it’s cry she ran outside and started caressing the child. “There, there! Who has hurt my moon so! I will punish this earth far hurting my beautiful child!”.  Akbar, who was aghast immediately blurted out “How could she caress such an ugly child!”. Unfortunately, the mother heard what was said and she flew into a rage! “Who called my child ugly? You must be either blind or quite mad to call my child ugly!Go and look all over Agra! You will not find a more beautiful child! Now get out of here, before I  decide to flog you!” . Akbar and his courtiers beat a hasty retreat! Akbar then admitted “Birbal, you were right all along! Beauty is subjective! Each child appears most beautiful to it’s parent or grandparent!”.

The moral of this funny and interesting story is, that the closer you are in relation to a person, the more beautiful you appear to that person.  But if you observe closely, it’s not just physical beauty. There is a greater trait called inner beauty, which determines the goodness of a person. Even this inner beauty is directly proportional to your relationship to that person. Allow me to explain with a few examples.

Duryodhana was wicked, and yet Drutharaashtra was partial to him. Though he was fond of his brother Pandu’s sons, yet his love for Duryodhana was much greater. So angry was he, that he infact set out to crush Bhima feigning to hug him affectionately. His rage was so great at that instant that he destroyed the iron statue that was placed before him instead of Bhima by Lord Krishna. Gandhari forgot all about the fact that it was Duryodhana’s fault that had caused the great Mahabharata war and inturn the death of all the Kauravas and countless other warriors! When she the corpses of her sons, unable to bear the grief, she blamed Lord Krishna for this terrible war and she cursed him and his entire race. She cursed that the entire Yaadava race would be destroyed in another 36 years. And so it came to be. The glorious Yaadava race where the supreme Lord himself was born along with the fabulous island paradise of Dwaraka was destroyed.

Because Bimbisaara felt Ajathashatru was filled with inner beauty, he failed to see the wicked ambition that his son possessed.  One failed attempt at trying to usurp the throne also did not change his opinion of Ajathashatru. Ultimately Bimbisaara was imprisoned by Ajathashatru, and died in prison!

When I say relationship, it need not necessarily mean kinship. It could also be that, if you are in love with a person, you fail to see any of their faults. Too often have we heard stories of a person committing crime under the influence of someone he/she loves! To see plenty of such fictional examples you could read Agatha Christie.

What Birbal showed here is yet another of those eternal truths. It cannot be avoided. Only a few rare, noble souls are around, who would rise above this distinction of you and me and would treat all alike. I am glad to say that in my journey called life, I have met several such people, who have accepted me for who I am, who believe in me and who have treated me as one of their own. I verily consider it the blessing of Samartha Sadguru Sainath that I have made the acquaintance of such great souls. They have stood by me in the best of times and in the worst of times! Thank you all my friends :)

The legend of Naalebaa

I have a fascination for the Paranormal. Ever since I was a boy, I ran into books on ghosts,UFOs,ancient astronauts,telepathy, psychics, monsters etc. Many people have asked me whether I believe in all this stuff.Having a Masters Degree in Computer Science, the politically correct answer should be a firm "no". The answer however is a candid "I do not know". That means to say, I do not know whether such phenomenon exists or not. I have personally never encountered any spooks or UFOs myself. Everything that I have heard about this phenomenon comes from whatever I have read, TV shows like Destination Truth, movies and the occasional stories that make it to some corner of the local newspaper. I have also heard some eyewitness accounts of such paranormal phenomenon which lend credence to such stories. The reason being, the eyewitnesses happen to be very close to me and I place my utmost trust in them. Another theory could be misidentification, although that cannot quite account for certain experiences of the people involved.

Most kids hear about ghosts, banshees or other monsters from their elder brothers,sisters,cousins, uncle,aunt or sometimes even from their parents. They usually describe a fearsome ghost or monster who will gobble kids if they do not behave/eat food properly/ or sleep on time. That is how it presumably started in my case. I must have heard the story from my cousins or from my nanny. But a curious incident took place when I was about 10 or 12 years old. An entire city seemed to be gripped in fear of a ghost popularly called "Naalebaa".


One day as I was walking to my school I met a couple of friends along the way. They seemed to be having an exciting conversation. I was pretty sure the reason for the excitement was not the mid term exams that were coming up or the unusually lengthy homework that we were given. And it turned out that I was right. They were discussing about a terrifying spook that seemed to be making rounds of the entire city. The ghost it seems, would randomly pick a victim and pay his house a visit. He would knock on the door and once the door was opened he would kill the unsuspecting and sleepy victim in a matter of seconds. Once he gained entry he would likewise kill all the inmates of the house. I asked my friends what this ghost looked like, to which they all replied, nobody who has met him has lived to tell the tale (How then did everyone know about this spook I always thought). But it turned out that they were wrong. For it appeared that one of the kids woke up in the middle of the night for a drink of water and casually peeped out of a window overlooking the street. What he saw made him shiver uncontrollably. For there was a hooded figure walking in the streets with a bent gait. The fingers were like razor sharp talons, and in the moon light my friend supposedly saw very large canine teeth in a horrid face. He was so scared that he went back to bed and hid himself under his bedsheets. He was so scared to wake up even that his mother had to drag him out of bed and send him to school. So out of nowhere many rumours had started each giving a different dimension to this specter.When I went home that day even my maid started narrating her own version of the ghost story of Naalebaa. Thus it was official! The entire city was supposedly haunted by "Naalebaa".

Now let's get down to the name of the ghost itself! One wonders why it was called "Naalebaa". Naalebaa in Kannada means "Come tomorrow". This was also the only solution to get rid of this ghost. For though almost everyone had a different version of "Nalebaa" story they all agreed on the one solution to get rid of it. All one had to do, was to take a piece of chalk and write on the front door "Naalebaa". This supposedly fearsome ghost was also apparently very obliging. For the moment he saw the writing on the door, he would think "Oh darn! They want me to come tomorrow! I will come back tomorrow then!". Thinking thus, he would go away. And according to everyone who believed in this spook, as long as the writing is on the door, the spook will keep going away and this would go on and on until the end of the world! When I told the same story to my parents, they dismissed it as utter non sense and I became somewhat skeptical about the ghost. However that did not necessarily allay my fears during night time when the ghost was supposed to wander the streets looking for his next victim.

The rumours lasted for some time, and probably during that time one could see "Naalebaa" scrawled on the front doors of those who were gullible enough to believe in this ghost! I only hope no unsuspecting guests were caught in this infinite loop. I always wondered what would have happened if a guest dropped into the house and would see the sign. He would probably be at a loss as to what to do! And unlike the ghost he may take it as a personal affront and never visit the house again.

During this time an interesting event happened to a cousin of mine. Being younger than me, he had taken this ghost story quite seriously and dreaded the time between sunset and sunrise. One night while my cousin was sitting at home watching an interesting show on TV, he heard someone rapping at the door. He was greatly petrified and he caught hold of his mother, who had risen to open the door! He pleaded to his parents to not open the door as that would allow the ghost to enter the house and do unimaginable things to them. The parents somehow calmed him and went to their front door and peeped out of the key hole to see who it was. While my cousin was trembling all over, his mother opened the door with a smile on her face. My cousin who was expecting a ghastly apparition on the other side of the door found his uncle standing there instead. His uncle had missed the last bus home and had come to my cousin's house which was nearby to crash there for the night. From that day onwards, my cousin stopped believing in ghosts I presume. My skepticism in Naalebaa only grew after hearing this incident.

The rumors lasted for some time, but they died down pretty soon. And now my friends also were probably bored of concocting stories about naalebaa. Now the topics of discussions were only the latest exploits of Sachin Tendulkar and Yokozuna's unexpected victory in a casket match against the Undertaker.

I still remember this incident with a smile on my face. I can only describe this event as mass hysteria. According to me there was absolutely no paranormal phenomenon whatsoever.

The fanatic

He lived life with great zeal

Religion was for him a big deal

His preachers praised many a fighters
Destroyers of temples and idolators

His mind imbibed the great big idea
That if he converted everyone the world would be utopia

Forgotten was kindness, compassion and equality
It was meant for people belonging to his religion only

Some of his brethren fought the idolators
With bombs, grenades and machine guns

Some incited debates with twisted logic
And converted many dullards as if by magic

He was infuriated with people who refused his founder
And he was incensed with those who continued to wander

His faith was the only faith
His god was the only god

Another preacher promised Paradise
For those who performed the ultimate sacrifice

He therefore went to the country in the west
For believers it was the ultimate nest

He was trained by many of his brethren
They thought him to kill without concern

He headed of to the country of the heathen
Full of anticipation of reaching heaven

With the support of the local brethren
He went to explode many a pagan

He blew himself up in an instant
Attacks like this on peaceful denizens had become constant

His subtle body left with two fearsome guards
He left in lustful anticipation for his supposed rewards

They poked and scared him  into fainting
He finally arose scared and sweating

He saw in the distance dark reeking fumes
He was wading next in a river of blood and pus

He went in front of a dark lord who
Recounted every one of his sins anew

The slayer of the idolators now suffered
Intolerable miseries a hundredfold

After innumerable and unbearable tortures
He was born again and again as several insects

In each and every birth he was stomped on
By the very idolator he wanted to trod upon!

After many such intolerable sufferings
As an animal he came upon a sage with noble bearings

The sage saw that the animal had suffered enough
Blessed him to be born as a human again

But the laws of God are just
What goes around, comes around

He was born in the family of a religion
Who had rejected the founder of his religion

He went once to a cafe for a drink
One of his 'brethren' blew him up in a brink!

Let this be a lesson to all believers of any religion
Live a life filled with love and compassion

If hate and enmity fuel your life
You will rot in hell for all your strife

When the dervish tries to sleep

When the dervish tries to sleep at night
Under the cool rays of the moon lit night

If perchance he remembers the Murshid
Then the beloved comes and robs him of his sleep

The sweet scent of the beloved comes wafting
Through all directions into the dervish's hut

And the dervish becomes still as stone
In each breath he inhales and exhales your sweet scent

In each thought is your remembrance
It immediately puts him into a trance

Throwing aside the blanket of this world
He starts dancing to your song of love

He whirls and whirls out of his humble hut
And out into the night he bathes in your divine light

Who but who can understand this intoxication
The travelers on the distant road look in consternation

For A drunkard or a madman dances alone in the night
They turn away from the seeker and walk away in fright

Are you really alone oh Dervish, I ask?
For are you not performing your holy task?

Are you not whirling into the beloved's arms?
As you whirl your arms seem to embrace the very heavens

And yet one wonders where is the Murshid?
And where is his Murid's beloved?

And the dervish's form melts
where the earth meets the skies

There remains only the sweet scent of the beloved
Along with the cool moonlight of grace from the Murshid

The teacher and the preacher!

Listen to the Spiritual teacher
Lend not your ears to the religious preacher

For the religious preacher is filled to the brim with hate
And the spiritual teacher is enveloped by nothing but love

The religious preacher thinks his religion is superior
The spiritual teacher thinks no creature is inferior

The religious preacher preacher intolerance
The spiritual teacher teaches compassion

The religious preacher talks about the end of the world
The spiritual teacher ends the ego and makes you boundless

The religious preacher talks about a never to come judgement day
The spiritual teacher makes you realize the truth this very day

The religious preacher talks about beginning and an end
The spiritual teacher is the reality free and unbounded

The religious preacher is nothing but a hypocrite
The spiritual teacher is always love intoxicate

The religious preacher confuses the mind
The spiritual teacher purifies the heart

The religious preacher knows by heart one book
The spiritual teacher cannot be described by any book

The religious preacher divides the world
The spiritual teacher is verily the world

The religious preacher is filled with pride
The spiritual teacher is nothing but humble

The preacher gives lectures and confuses you
The teacher by his silence alone from bondage releases you

The preacher talks about a God he doesn't know
The teacher makes you experience that all is God

Run away from the presence of the religious preacher
Whirl like a dervish with love for the spiritual teacher

Do not even glance in the direction of the preacher
Run fast and fall at the feet of the spiritual teacher

Some Call Me!

Some call me a murid
Others call me a bhaktha

Some claim I am a dervesh
Others call me a devotee

Some call me the lover
Drunk in the wine of your love

The grocers call me a madman
Running hither and tither seeking you

The merchants try to show me their wares
That I am disinterested has caught them unawares

Intoxicated I dance near your court
As the sweet scent of your divinity permeates my being

Some call you murshid
Some others call you Guru

Some call you the Qutub
While others call you God

Some call you the beloved
To them you are the world

Some called you a fakir
Others called you Awaliya or pir

Some called you as their mother or mai
Some others beckoned you as welcome Sai

Some call you Allah
Some others call you Ram

Both the beloved and I know
The truth in all the statements above

Rumi found you in Shams of Tabriz
Namadeva found you in Pandharpura with ease

In the stillness of the starry night
In the earth below and the heavens above

As the ever alert lover beholds you
The beloveds divine presence comes into view

The cat, the Mouse and The 'God'!

As I mentioned in my previous post I was alarmed by the growth of intolerance in people following the organized religions of the west. It reminded me of a funny story that my history teacher told me in High school.

My teacher came from an area where preachers belonging to a certain religion had started trying to convert 'heathens' into their religion. The activity of these demonic preachers had started a very long time ago!

My teacher once came across a congregation of people at an open field. A makeshift stage was erected and all the poor people of the village were assembled there being lured with money,food, drink and 'enlightenment'. Curious to see what was going on, my teacher went and sat amongst the audience.


The preacher holding aloft his book and wearing his religious symbols glanced at the crowd. "It should be fairly easy to fool these gullible uneducated fools!" he thought. "They know not anything about their own heathen religion! It should be fairly easy to lure them into my way of worship, which of course is the true way of worshiping!" So thinking and with a lot of confidence he began to speak.

"My brothers and sisters, I thank you for coming to this congregation! Let me tell you a true story that is most interesting!". My teacher began thinking "Probably he will tell the story of how his religion began! I already know this story! Why should I waste my time listening to it! Let me go home and listen to the cricket match on radio!".

However the next few words from the preacher was strange and weird thus riveting my teacher's attention. Bemused he began to hear the preacher ramble!

"One day a cat started chasing a mouse!" started the preacher. "A plausible true story" thought my teacher. "The cat finally cornered the mouse!" said the preacher. "Hmm..this is likely to happen as well!" thought my teacher, "but where is this idiot going with this story?" wondered my teacher.

"Cornered and in fear for his life, the mouse started praying"  said the preacher! "Praying?" thought my teacher! "Now I do not know if this part is true!".

"First the mouse prayed to Lord Rama!But in vain for though it called out to him Rama did not come!" said the preacher!

"What a mouse! It had read the Ramayana and knew how to pray to Rama! What intelligence! And what's more miraculous, is how did this idiot of a preacher know what was going on in the mouse's mind?" my teacher thought with a smile on his face.

"Then the mouse prayed to Lord Krishna! But again it was in vain for he too did not appear before the mouse!" continued the intolerant preacher!

"It had read the Mahabharata and the Bhagavata too? This is getting more and more interesting!" thought my teacher.

"Finally the mouse prayed to ****s ! And lo! He being the only merciful Lord, he appeared immediately!" Said the intolerant preacher triumphantly, having put the final nail in the coffin. "Only one or two more sentences and I will have converted this ugly lot!" he thought!

My teacher was quick witted and had a mercurial temper. Even when we were in school we feared his wrath when he became upset!Now coming back to the congregation, my teacher immediately saw where the idiot of a preacher was going with his story and immediately completed his story for him!

In anger he shouted "That's right! ****s came and he killed the mouse and ate the cat!" ("Haudu! ****s banda ilina saysda matte bekkanna thinda!" in Kannada) he shouted in Kannada. The crowd heard this funny retort and immediately burst into laughter!

The preacher was the laughing stock!He realized that no one was getting converted today! Seeking out my teacher he glared at him and angrily shouted "Aye! How dare you commit such a sacrilege by insulting the Lord! I shall complain to the police!". My teacher nonchalantly replied "Sure! While you are at it, why don't you tell him the whole story!"

The preacher realized that it was check mate! He had lost the battle! If he were to inform the police of what my teacher said, he also had to tell the police about what he said about Lord Rama and Lord Krishna! Himself least bothered about insulting God, he was disturbed and what my teacher said was sacrilege to him!

This is how the preachers are! This is how their double standards are! Whether they are really evil or they are brain washed, I do not know! But they sure are enemies of Humanity! I hope more and more people get to know about their evil intent and stop following rigid, intolerant and wicked doctrines!

The rise of intolerance

Today we received a book that has been lauded by most of the atheists as one of the most unscientific books ever written in the history of human civilization. I do not want to mention the name of the book here for obvious reasons! We had to accept the book as a gift so as to not hurt the religious sentiments of the person who gifted it to us,

The person who presented the book to us, is a good friend of ours. He is quite close to us and my father has helped him quite often. However the place of worship that he visits every week has brainwashed him completely. Once I remember not too long ago, when we offered him prasad (Food consecrated to God) and he refused it, claiming that the religious head at his place of worship had forbidden accepting any prasad from heathens.

Now, when he refuses to accept prasad offered out of pure love and for general weal of all, he is on the contrary bold enough to present us a book professing his faith. It was quite disheartening for me and I even became enraged at this bold act, but I had to keep my cool as I did not want to hurt the sentiments of this long term friend of ours.

Any religious faith emanating from the west professes that their way is the only way! I honestly do not blame our friend for what he did today! He is obviously brainwashed into thinking that the more people he brings into his faith the better. He is told that heathens and pagans like Hindus are being persuaded by the devil to worship false gods!

Any theist with common sense should realize that there is only one god! There is no my god and your god! There is no true god and false god! All worship reaches his feet! As my Sadguru Sai Baba has said "Sabka Malik Ek" (There is only one master for all).

I only blame these religious heads, who preach that their faith is the only faith and thus bring a sort of enmity between people belonging to different faiths. Why not acknowledge that all faiths lead to the one god? Obviously these religious heads have some devious plan. They believe that the more people they bring to their faith, the more the donations they receive.

Whatever be their motivation, they are the true enemies of God and are the agents of the devil. How many innocent lives have been shed in the name of God?  In the guise of religion they are spreading hatred. It is a pity that they claim to worship him who never hurt a fly.

Who can forget the crusades, the Spanish inquisition and the slaughter of innocents by the Portuguese in Goa? I see alarming developments happening and history could possibly repeat itself! I only pray to God that people like my innocent friend do not get brainwashed needlessly and see reason and become more tolerant and loving.

I was reminded again of this poem that I wrote in angusih when I had a similar experience not too long ago!
My way is the only Way!

Night turns into day!

Oh my beloved has come today
To my humble abode in the dense woods

On a moonless dark cloudy night
My beloved entered my cottage

The doors were locked and there were no windows
And yet the beloved entered my humble abode

The cottage lit up like a million lamps
The night seemed to have turned into day

The birds and beasts of the forest
Mistook night for day and woke up

Such was your brilliance oh beloved
The night was brighter than the brightest day

My eyes shut themselves at the bright light
Then they became accustomed to your luminescence


I asked the beloved "How did you enter?"
"Closed are the doors and windows, where did you come from?"

The beloved responded in a voice
That reverberated through my being as I stood

"Fool! where was I to enter through the door?"
"Why enter through the door when I was here all along!"

"Where and who were you?" I asked
"Here and You" came the answer!
 

The tiger mask

The mask appeared bright and attractive. At that moment a desire to possess it set in and I started craving for it. It was a mask for children, a tiger mask. I immediately started pestering my parents to buy it for me. My father examined the mask and found that the paint on the mask was fresh. Thinking that it was unhealthy to wear a mask that had fresh paint on it, my father said "The paint is still fresh. We will buy you a mask elsewhere!". However I wanted that mask so much, that I would not listen to reason. I started crying and throwing tantrums at the very spot much to the dismay of my parents. With great deal of difficulty my parents led me away (Probably carried me away) from that spot.

A little distance away we came across another vendor selling masks. Now he had a similar tiger mask, only this one was perfect. The paint had set in. My father examined it and said "Look, here is a similar tiger mask, do you want it?". However I was still so upset over not getting the first tiger mask that, with tears still running down my cheek I refused to buy this mask. I probably muttered "I do not want anything". In the end I do not know what happened. I probably ended up not getting a tiger mask after all.

All this happened a long long time ago. One of the earliest memories of my visit to an exhibition (Probably the one that happens during the Mysore Dasara) where several vendors display their wares. A very popular destination for kids during those days as there used to be many toys and food. I do not know how young I was then, but this memory has somehow remained.

Now when I look back at this incident, my actions look very childish, immature and at most what you can expect from a 4 or 5 year old kid. But when I introspect on the incident, it makes me wonder, how different are we even now in life. This seems like basic human tendency.

We all have desires (Unless the one reading this post happens to be a saint). They drive us to do different things. They dictate our actions. Sometimes, in life we are so blinded by this desire, that we forget what really is important in life. For example, some people in the desire to earn more money, neglect family,friends and health. Some people may get infatuated over a person and do things against their better judgement. This is just like desiring for a mask with fresh paint on it. You are so attracted by it's bright colors, that no amount of reason would make you understand that it is not good for you.

The next thing happens to be letting go! When things do not go the way we plan, when we do not get the things we desire we get upset. We are so immersed in misery and self pity that when life has something better to offer, we turn a blind eye towards it. This is just what I did, when I refused to buy a perfect tiger mask which was 100% similar to the first one and had the paint perfectly set in. Because I was gloomy and upset over not getting what I wanted, when I finally got something better I refused to accept it.

It makes me wonder, there are certain characteristic traits in human nature that never seem to change. Now matter how old we grow, we seem to be repeating the same mistakes again and again. Desires are not bad in themselves. No one can avoid them. But we must not be controlled by them. They should not dictate our lives. We should not be blinded by them in such a way that we do not see reason. If we can achieve this, I think we can be a lot happier and healthier in life. This also makes letting go, a lot easier. The more easily we forget about bad experiences, troublesome people, failures etc, the easier it is to see newer opportunities and to climb the ladder of success.