The mask appeared bright and attractive. At that moment a desire to possess it set in and I started craving for it. It was a mask for children, a tiger mask. I immediately started pestering my parents to buy it for me. My father examined the mask and found that the paint on the mask was fresh. Thinking that it was unhealthy to wear a mask that had fresh paint on it, my father said "The paint is still fresh. We will buy you a mask elsewhere!". However I wanted that mask so much, that I would not listen to reason. I started crying and throwing tantrums at the very spot much to the dismay of my parents. With great deal of difficulty my parents led me away (Probably carried me away) from that spot.A little distance away we came across another vendor selling masks. Now he had a similar tiger mask, only this one was perfect. The paint had set in. My father examined it and said "Look, here is a similar tiger mask, do you want it?". However I was still so upset over not getting the first tiger mask that, with tears still running down my cheek I refused to buy this mask. I probably muttered "I do not want anything". In the end I do not know what happened. I probably ended up not getting a tiger mask after all.
All this happened a long long time ago. One of the earliest memories of my visit to an exhibition (Probably the one that happens during the Mysore Dasara) where several vendors display their wares. A very popular destination for kids during those days as there used to be many toys and food. I do not know how young I was then, but this memory has somehow remained.
Now when I look back at this incident, my actions look very childish, immature and at most what you can expect from a 4 or 5 year old kid. But when I introspect on the incident, it makes me wonder, how different are we even now in life. This seems like basic human tendency.
We all have desires (Unless the one reading this post happens to be a saint). They drive us to do different things. They dictate our actions. Sometimes, in life we are so blinded by this desire, that we forget what really is important in life. For example, some people in the desire to earn more money, neglect family,friends and health. Some people may get infatuated over a person and do things against their better judgement. This is just like desiring for a mask with fresh paint on it. You are so attracted by it's bright colors, that no amount of reason would make you understand that it is not good for you.
The next thing happens to be letting go! When things do not go the way we plan, when we do not get the things we desire we get upset. We are so immersed in misery and self pity that when life has something better to offer, we turn a blind eye towards it. This is just what I did, when I refused to buy a perfect tiger mask which was 100% similar to the first one and had the paint perfectly set in. Because I was gloomy and upset over not getting what I wanted, when I finally got something better I refused to accept it.
It makes me wonder, there are certain characteristic traits in human nature that never seem to change. Now matter how old we grow, we seem to be repeating the same mistakes again and again. Desires are not bad in themselves. No one can avoid them. But we must not be controlled by them. They should not dictate our lives. We should not be blinded by them in such a way that we do not see reason. If we can achieve this, I think we can be a lot happier and healthier in life. This also makes letting go, a lot easier. The more easily we forget about bad experiences, troublesome people, failures etc, the easier it is to see newer opportunities and to climb the ladder of success.
